Recently I got into a book-buying spree. Just last week, I must have spent over three hundred dollars at various online bookstores. This uncontrollable and irrational obsession with purchasing books that I most likely will not read (at least till years later) is a personal weakness that I have by now accepted. After all, there are far worse things to waste money on. This time, however, things got a bit more complicated.
Last Wednesday while I was hunting for deals on the AMS Bookstore, the book “Automorphic Forms and Applications” caught my attention. It has some solid articles on areas of automorphic forms that I was keen to know more about (such as the Langlands-Shahidi method of constructing L-functions). The book was selling for $60 to members of the AMS, but only for $54 at Barnes and Noble. For me, however, a meager $6 in savings is not enough; so I searched for coupon codes to use at Barnes and Noble. Imagine how pleased I was when I found out there is a 20% discount coupon at B&N for signing up for a new user account! Without any hesitation, I ordered the book at the discounted cost of $42.
Yet there are is free lunch in this world. It has been two weeks now since I placed an order of two books through the SpringerLink MyCopy service, the shipment still has not arrived. I could not withstand the anxiety any longer and decided to check up on the order. Turns out the order did not register at Springer, despite the fact that a transaction of $49.90 did show up on my credit card statement. As of now, Springer is still looking into the problem.
Although I do not believe in fate, it did make me wonder whether this tit-for-tat is some cruel prank planned by a malefactor on my poor soul. Perhaps I did get too greedy and lost self-control on my book-buying spree, perhaps it is just karma. I abide.
Filed under: Mathematics, Quest Log, Random Thoughts | Tags: learning, Mathematics, working
I spent the last two days reviewing and delving deeper into some details on the construction of Galois representation from modular forms. It was a refreshing getaway from the occasional frustrations and disappointments one experiences while conducting new research. Learning new things in mathematics is not as much a challenge nowadays as it was when I began. I suppose I can take pride and comfort in the knowledge that I have grown in mathematical maturity. Everyone needs to return to his or her comfort zone once in awhile to refuel and rekindle the desire and aspiration for improvement, and learning stuff that is well-known and widely accepted is my safe harbor and my favorite retreat.
On the other hand, spending too much time learning new ideas may not be a good thing. It is not just the time commitment, but learning everything that comes my way tends to dilute my focus and make me extremely scattered-brained. So much so that it breeds “mathematical greed”, something that I was seriously plagued by during the early years of my graduate career. I was literally spending every waking moment trying to do something math related, and it was an unsustainable lifestyle that I now learned to shy away from on most days.
For better or worse, I am pleased and grateful that I can still stay away from the internet for a good number of hours and focus on learning things. Even though my merits as a mathematician mostly depend on my ability to conduct new research, I still take great joy and comfort in learning things.
The Time Capsule I bought a week ago on eBay has taken over control of a large part of my life.
I tend to get a little overly enthused after a break from mathematics. The contemplative and pensive persona that I take on when conducting research is now in hibernation, and I am back to being the life-hacker who has difficulty putting out any self-claimed spark of genius and ended up complicated matters.
Nonetheless, my seemingly impulsive acquisition of this expensive equipment had its reasons, even good reasons. Everything began when I experienced problems with backing up using Time Machine to the portable USB hard drive. For some reason, this troublesome yet deceivingly convenient program kept on saying that there is not enough space to continue the backup. After an hour or so of googling for solutions, I somehow ended up looking for information on the Apple Time Capsule.
Before I know it, I already placed a bid on eBay for this $250 plus network storage. Five days later, I became a proud owner of a 1TB MC343LL/A Time Capsule.
Opening up the USPS priority one-rate shipping box was a piece of cake compared to the headache I had while trying to configure this toy to work with the University network.
Initially I tried to have the Time Capsule join the existing encrypted WiFi network, but did not succeed in doing so. According to the tech support, it is probably better to connect the Capsule to the ethernet instead, then broadcast its own WiFi for my laptop to access.
This gave me a good reason to go back to eBay and do some more shopping. Such extravagance!
Let’s hope all the dust that I kicked up will settle next week, and I can peacefully return to my pensive and meditative demeanor fitting of a mathematician.
Filed under: Mathematics, Random Thoughts | Tags: focus, Mathematics, productivity, research
Although I brought several research papers and a book on ergodic theory back home over the holiday break, the only bit of mathematics I did was reading some parts of Yuri Manin‘s delightful book, “Mathematics as Metaphor“.
All this means that shifting back into research mode is going to be a bit of a challenge. Indeed, the five some hours spent by my desk did not yield any fruit. Of course, solid effort does not always lead to real progress, but it is still disappointing when you spent the day giving a counter-example.
I need to regain my focus again. When research is going well, my writing improves too, and let us hope this will happen soon.
The Margaret S. Huntington Scholarship is accepting applications right now. On the advertisement fliers seen all over the Math Department here at the University of Michigan, instead of Freshman, someone in his or her first year at the U is referred to as Freshperson.
I think it is rather thoughtful.
I’m back after a year-long hiatus! To kick off the return of this blog, I like to make some New Year’s resolutions, just for the record:
1. Do one math exercise a day for my 365 project.
2. Be able to compute special vlaues of L-functions on SAGE (an open source software for advances mathematical computations.)
3. Set a new personal best during this year’s triathlon races.
4. Finish my thesis and work on another problem.
5. Be more sympathetic to others. Be less self-centered.
Jan 6, 2010
Filed under: Random Thoughts
On my ride back from Princeton, feeling the burns in my quadriceps, I was reminded of a blog entry I wrote on cycling and pain. I wondered why I like biking so much now even though it is sometimes so demanding to commit to it. Am I a workaholic who gets pleasure from putting me through hardship? Yes, to a degree. Am I an egomaniac who needs to continue to distinguish and improve himself, without minding risks and discomforts? Perhaps.
But I like to think that I am just doing my part in making the most of my life.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Filed under: Random Thoughts
It feels wonderful to be engaged in my research again. Some fundamental change must have taken place in my body. Despite the increased physical and mental activities, I feel quite happy with the life I am living. The moments of utter frustration are almost non-existent now. The days are still long and packed with tasks large and small, but I can remain relaxed and enjoy the small victories of getting things done.
Probably getting in touch with my advisor is mostly responsible for this dramatic change of my mindset. Much burden is lifted from my mind. My outlook on the future is brighter. My self-image has progressed from the polarizing extremes of overly arrogant and downright depressed to a more sustainable happy medium with a progressive drive for improvement. I am better at pacing myself, both in my athletic endeavors as well as my mathematical pursuits.
I like to conclude with some reminders in case I run into troubles again in the future: Prioritize your tasks. Look beyond the initial investments, take the initiative. Be disciplined, but do not over stress yourself. Be engaged in the community, be ready to listen and share. Don’t try to build Rome in one day, save something good for tomorrow.
Monday, September 22, 2008
I spent majority of the day reading John Grisham’s novel, “The Runaway Jury”, trying to relax after yesterday’s hard ride. I am still getting used to living here. There is a lingering sense of resentment and displeasure with the still somewhat foreign neighborhood.
The tremendous stress in cycling itself, mixed with the psychological stress in navigating around the confusing routes, became a toxic blend that drained my enthusiasm and impaired my mental faculties. Many times I sank into a bitter battle with myself and my past, without much provocation than my own wondering thoughts. It was atypical that I did not even fight back for control of my head.
After taking a nap this afternoon, I could not stay in the house any longer. It is healthy to move around. I decided to visit the local county park. A local Indo-American festival is taking place there, on the lush green lawns and in the scenic backdrop of the Mercer Lake, not a good place for swimming (it is banned), but ideal for rowers. The biking path was also in excellent condition, files of riders on their comfort bikes roamed by carelessly. I imagine myself would be spending many mornings here riding and enjoying the fresh air.
Watching couples huddling by the lake shore, I thought about how love. Just two weeks ago I sensed fatherly love from my dad. He worried sick about my well being. After all, driving ten hours to New Jersey is no everyday chore. That kind of care heals me. Love is our weapon against stress.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Living in a new environment is a lot like wearing a new pair of shoes. It takes some time and some pain before one becomes at ease with the surroundings.
For me, I am still going through that stage of pain and discomfort. This is manifested vividly in my biking experience around here. Coming from a relatively cyclist-friend city like Ann Arbor, I was a bit pampered into having high expectations for my biking practices. Yet for twice in a row, the rides have been disappointing. Lack of familiarity with the area and some seeming inevitable heavy traffic sections added much anxiety to my biking rides. The fact that I am using a new set of Shimano Dura Ace road pedals and my new Louis Garneau triathlon shoes made the matter all the worse. Of course, the misalignment in my front brake calipers did not help the situation neither.
In summary, it was a miserable ride. I spent much time riding on a busy highway, looking for the right exit. Yet it never appeared. The pain from churning the cranks together with the frustration of feeling lost made me completely mad. I lost all my sense of trepidation and vigilance, all I care was to pedal harder and go faster. Looking back, it was a reckless and immature response to pressure. I lost my cool and let my emotions took over my rationality. Not a wise thing to do considering there are constantly cars zooming pass me at over 50 mph.
Now lying exhausted on my bed, I am thankful that I was not injured. I can blame the poor city planning of the nearby towns, but I know in the end it is just the natural discomfort from moving to a new city. Soon enough I will find myself a sweet training route to ride on.
I will break into this new life.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
