Recently I got into a book-buying spree. Just last week, I must have spent over three hundred dollars at various online bookstores. This uncontrollable and irrational obsession with purchasing books that I most likely will not read (at least till years later) is a personal weakness that I have by now accepted. After all, there are far worse things to waste money on. This time, however, things got a bit more complicated.
Last Wednesday while I was hunting for deals on the AMS Bookstore, the book “Automorphic Forms and Applications” caught my attention. It has some solid articles on areas of automorphic forms that I was keen to know more about (such as the Langlands-Shahidi method of constructing L-functions). The book was selling for $60 to members of the AMS, but only for $54 at Barnes and Noble. For me, however, a meager $6 in savings is not enough; so I searched for coupon codes to use at Barnes and Noble. Imagine how pleased I was when I found out there is a 20% discount coupon at B&N for signing up for a new user account! Without any hesitation, I ordered the book at the discounted cost of $42.
Yet there are is free lunch in this world. It has been two weeks now since I placed an order of two books through the SpringerLink MyCopy service, the shipment still has not arrived. I could not withstand the anxiety any longer and decided to check up on the order. Turns out the order did not register at Springer, despite the fact that a transaction of $49.90 did show up on my credit card statement. As of now, Springer is still looking into the problem.
Although I do not believe in fate, it did make me wonder whether this tit-for-tat is some cruel prank planned by a malefactor on my poor soul. Perhaps I did get too greedy and lost self-control on my book-buying spree, perhaps it is just karma. I abide.
The Time Capsule I bought a week ago on eBay has taken over control of a large part of my life.
I tend to get a little overly enthused after a break from mathematics. The contemplative and pensive persona that I take on when conducting research is now in hibernation, and I am back to being the life-hacker who has difficulty putting out any self-claimed spark of genius and ended up complicated matters.
Nonetheless, my seemingly impulsive acquisition of this expensive equipment had its reasons, even good reasons. Everything began when I experienced problems with backing up using Time Machine to the portable USB hard drive. For some reason, this troublesome yet deceivingly convenient program kept on saying that there is not enough space to continue the backup. After an hour or so of googling for solutions, I somehow ended up looking for information on the Apple Time Capsule.
Before I know it, I already placed a bid on eBay for this $250 plus network storage. Five days later, I became a proud owner of a 1TB MC343LL/A Time Capsule.
Opening up the USPS priority one-rate shipping box was a piece of cake compared to the headache I had while trying to configure this toy to work with the University network.
Initially I tried to have the Time Capsule join the existing encrypted WiFi network, but did not succeed in doing so. According to the tech support, it is probably better to connect the Capsule to the ethernet instead, then broadcast its own WiFi for my laptop to access.
This gave me a good reason to go back to eBay and do some more shopping. Such extravagance!
Let’s hope all the dust that I kicked up will settle next week, and I can peacefully return to my pensive and meditative demeanor fitting of a mathematician.
Filed under: Mathematics, Moderation and Balance, Self Improvement | Tags: Mathematics, mind-body connection, observations, physical effects, vitamin, work
You probably know that taking too much vitamin B2 turns your urine bright yellow. It turns out that there is one additional side effect on me.
After returning from the holiday break, I felt lethargic and unmotivated. So I fooled around with my diet a bit, and decided to resume taking Twin Lab’s Daily One Caps multivitamin to boost my energy and stamina. I bought these a year ago when the vitamin B content in these pills was still extraordinarily high. Although these are just multivitamin supplements, the physical effects were much more acute compared to the Centrum brand.
As unbelievable as it may sound, taking these riboflavin-loaded vitamin pills made me unusually moody about things that have no emotional bearing. Just several minutes, I was trying to write up some mathematical computations, but slowly sad memories begin to drift through my mind. I remembered the years of hardship laboring over the tons of mathematical texts that I have to digest, and my eyes begin to swell up. It was not distracting; quite the opposite, remembering these bitter sweet moments made me more focused and resolute on the work at hand, and bestowed me with a sense of purpose and a desire to give all my being to mathematics. Please tell me that I am not crazy.
What did the Twin Lab guys put in their pills anyway?
I worked on the brake calipers on my road bike today. I wrapped the right arm of the front brake in a piece of towel and used a pair of pliers to straighten it. This, however, proved futile. The cold-forged aluminum (I suppose it is aluminum) brake arm will not budge no matter how hard I tried. Soon I gave up, finally accepting the fact that the brake caliper is beyond salvage.
For a perfectionist like I, it is hard to shake away the psychological stress from this not-so-minor blemish on my beloved bike. It made me bitter. Soon enough I was looking on EBay for replacement brakes. Despite the raving reviews on Shimano Dura-Ace and Campagnolo Centaur brake sets, as well as their fairly reasonable prices, I found myself prejudiced against them. I did not like the fact that they are heavier than the SRAM Force brakes that I have been using. It is only a matter of around fifty grams, but I was unable to step out of the narrow-mindedness that I am steeped in.
For a moment, I even pondered on getting a whole new component groupo (I made an offered on a new set of SRAM Red). Fortunately I had enough senses to not empty my pockets. It was such a rash decision, I would have surely regretted it had it been made.
The question that bugs me is: how did I become a weight weenie? I guess it is a combination of stress from moving to New Jersey and my personality for perfection. I care a lot about my road bike, and in turn want to make it better and faster. The weight of the bicycle is a simple and easily adjustable measure of its quality, so it is natural for me to be so obsessed over the weight. I believe this may be a common syndrome of many hardcore road cyclists and triathletes.
The pursuit of perfection is not wrong. But one also must factor in his or her personal ability and the reality of the situation. Single-mindedly pursuing one course of action without evaluating the progress is as idiotic as trying to pass through a door by ramming your head against it. It just won’t do you any good.
And the brakes? Oh yeah, I decided to replace them by the Crane Creek SLs. Only 259g!
Friday, August 29, 2008
In the past five days that I’ve spent in New Jersey I must have spent over a thousand dollars. Some of the expenditure is necessary, of course. Groceries, and my new commuter bike, are not purchases that I would regret over in the future. Even getting the bread machine may prove to be a wise decision.
In contrast, the new set of Shimano road cycling pedals, the new touring wheels, the extra clothing for the eight some mile commute to Princeton, and the commuter cycling shoes, are luxury items that I can do without. Yet somehow I lost control of myself and steeped myself in the fleeting pleasures in acquisition. Yes, it feels good to fulfill your heart’s desire; but it may well be problematic if it is out of evasion of responsibility and a means of escaping the reality.
I fear I have been making all these excessive purchases as a way to channel my stress, to distract my mind from the physical exhaustion accumulated over the cross-state trip, as well as the psychological stress from living in a new environment. These are difficulties that I need to just strap down and deal with. Avoidance is never the answer.
Think twice and act wisely. See far and limit (or better, eliminate altogether) choices that you may regret in the future.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
There is a man who works at the local post office. To him, there never seems to be enough hours in a day. So he has to be efficient. Always multitasking, he is doing the job for two. It’s not about the money to him; it is only about being competent and productive. Yes, he is competent. He is outdoing the other clerks by two to one.
He appears to be suffering from some disease resemble Parkinson’s. Or maybe it is only his hectic work habit that has made his hands restless and always seeking the right button to press.
It felt like a warning. I need to learn to take ample time to relax. Life is an endurance sport, you need to pace yourself.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
It is difficult to balance physical training and mental work. After two months of incremental physical training, I find myself unable to persevere when it comes to serious mathematics. I am losing the passion that I once had for learning and reading.
Yet this spells something more physiological than psychological. I believe if I cut back (which I eventually will) on exercise, then I will have more energy for studying. I have experienced this change in my behavior around four years ago, and I expect to witness it in the near future.
A well-rested Johnson is a happy Johnson.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
“The value of compassion cannot be over-emphasized. Anyone can criticize. It takes a true believer to be compassionate. No greater burden can be borne by an individual than to know no one cares or understands.”
–Arthur H. Stainback; author
Within a minute after a meal, my mood begins to swing. Unhappy memories loom dark over my mindscape. Feelings of anger, frustration, resentment, regret, and all that is unpleasant enslave me. It’s sheer misery.
I know that there is just a hormonal shock coming from the influx of nutrients, especially carbohydrates. Yet knowledge alone is not sufficient to overcome the onslaught of negative thoughts. What to do?
I have spent some thought on resolving this problem. Based on past experience and observations, I believe this mood swing is most severe when the individual is moderately or highly stressed either from physical exercise or mental work. In my case, the symptom is especially severe after lunches when I have not fully recovered from an intense physical training session the day before, and had spent the morning studying mathematics. Although I am eager to fill my empty tummy, the side effect always compromises the experience.
Yet gladly I am intelligent enough to take action to ameliorate the situation. Here are three things that I find helpful:
- Listen to music. Read something difference from mathematics (or whatever you have been doing before the meal) to fire up some other parts of your brain.
- Go for some light exercise. This will help to divert your attention and ease the sugar rush to the brain.
- Take a nap. This is especially helpful if you are not well rested.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Too much stress lately. Bitterness, resentment, impatience, and all forms of unpleasant feelings are leaking into me. Two dollars, all it took to stretch my nerves a bit tighter.
Fought my urge to buy a bottle of wine. I still yearn for it. Yet I deprive myself. I deprive myself of such short-lived luxuries. Wine, especially good wine, is expensive.
Fought my urge to eat. I should not seek comfort in food. I do not need the extra calories. This desire is excessive. It will go away. Just a couple of more minutes.
Tried to find something interesting to do. A movie? Sci-fi? A bit too stimulating. Comedy? Too provocative. I ended up going for animations. Usually a safe bet. Tonight then.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Filed under: Moderation and Balance
My energy level is very low today. Although I did manage to read some mathematics, my concentration was poor throughout. It was out of responsibility, not passion. How much harder does this make things.
I took a nap this afternoon and felt my muscles relaxing and recovering. Resting is not a waste of time.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
